Mortality
by Amata le Fay
Summary: AU. The strengths of the Everdeen sisters have always come from different places. This would have happened any other way. For Starvation's August prompt, "sacrifice."


**Author's Note: For Starvation Forum's August prompt, "sacrifice." Written while flying on a plane for several hours late at night, so I apologize if it comes out a little jumbled. Must be the height and confined space.**

**Warnings: AU. OOC Prim; OOC pretty much everyone, actually. Multiple character deaths. General darkness.**

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><p>It takes a certain sort of bravery to go and face your death. Primrose Everdeen knows this, perhaps better than anyone else.<p>

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><p>"<em>Some sacrifices have to be made." <em>She shakes her head in a sad, resigned sort of way, and Katniss looks as if she were about to lose it right there.

"_No! No! It isn't right! It isn't fair!"_

"_Katniss."_ She places her hand on her older sister's shoulder. _"It's going to be all right. Just let me go."_

"_No!"_ Katniss, the fierce protector that she is, grabs the girl's shoulders and shakes them. _"Prim, Prim, promise me that you'll try come home. Promise!"_

"_I..."_ The twelve-year-old's face falls. _"I can't promise that, Katniss."_

The dark-haired daughter lets out a defiant scream, her last rage against the heavens. _"Prim! No!" _She falls to her knees. _"I should have volunteered. I could have saved you. I'm not half as brave as you are."_

Prim drops her head and lets a tear trickle down her face. _"Some sacrifices have to be made."_

Her mother stares blankly across the middle distance and only says, _"Goodbye, Prim."_

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><p>Katniss watches as they parade them around the Capitol in chariots, dressed in costumes, and scoffs at the ridiculous indignity when Prim and Peeta roll out, wreathed in flames. Literal flames. She's never seen such a stunning costume, and it manages to take her breath away through her tears.<p>

And, although Prim seems more like candlelight than an inferno, she can't help but think that this unknown stylist has managed to capture the very essence of her little sister: her light.

Maybe this won't be so bad after all.

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><p>Katniss watches as the training scores of the other tributes flash by, barely taking notice. 8, 9, 10, 10, 3, 2, 8, 9, 4, 6, 5, 5, 4... She's searching out one face in particular, clinging to a desperate hope. 2, 6. 9. 7. Peeta Mellark scores an 8, impressive for a boy from the poorest district of Panem. Primrose Everdeen scores a 6.<p>

This number gives Katniss no relief. Numbers don't guarantee safety, and she won't allow herself to feel relief until Prim is safe. Where safety might be found, Katniss has no idea, but she won't stop searching.

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><p>Katniss watches as Prim floats through her interview, so graceful, and yet so fragile-looking next to Thresh and Cato and Clove and Marvel. But the little girl manages to delight the crowd, and maybe it will gain her sponsors.<p>

Prim talks a bit about the Games, but mostly about home. Home, and her big sister Katniss, whom she loves "more than anything else in the world."

"_What did you say to her after you were reaped?"_ Caesar asks.

"_I said..."_ For once, she falters.

"_Did you promise to try to win?"_

"_I said that... that some sacrifices have to be made."_

Wisdom beyond her years, if a bleak kind of wisdom, a kind of wisdom that neither the Capitol people nor Katniss Everdeen quite understand.

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><p>"<em>Winning... it won't help in my case. No, she'll never love me if I win."<em>

"_Why not?"_

"_Because... because... she's Prim's older sister."_

Peeta Mellark made sacrifices, too. Far too many for Katniss's liking. This was just one more.

"_I'll do anything to bring Primrose Everdeen home. Anything. Trust my word."_

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><p>The night before the Hunger Games, Katniss tosses and turns in her too-empty bed. Her thoughts are a jumbled, frightened mess, but one thought keeps circling back:<p>

_My sister is a person, not a sacrifice. Although, to the Capitol, it seems the two are one in the same._

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><p>But, in the end, neither stunning outfits nor training scores nor interviews nor sponsors matter. Prim and Peeta find each other in the mess of the Cornucopia, gather some supplies, and are running off into the woods when Clove Andersen's knife hits Prim's temple. Peeta barely has time to mourn her before he's running for his life, chased down by bloodthirsty Careers.<p>

Katniss dies inside.

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><p>Katniss can't bring herself to watch. It takes all of her will just to get up and hunt each day, to go to school, to go about surviving again. Surviving, not living. It's what she's best at.<p>

Katniss can't bear to watch, and so Katniss doesn't see Peeta salute Prim's fading image in the sky with three fingers to his lips. She doesn't see Peeta murmuring in his sleep, first "Prim," then "Katniss." She doesn't see the sadness in his eyes when he comes across a bed of yellow flowers, surely planted there by sadistic Gamemakers. She doesn't see, so she doesn't know.

Katniss hunts, and eats, and does what she needs to survive. She's not brave enough to face the world, not yet.

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><p>The red-haired girl from Five darts out of the Cornucopia, snatching up her green backpack and heading for the trees before anyone else can react. A close-up shot of Clove cursing and swiping a knife at Cato behind her as Peeta makes his way to the table with surprising speed. He needs medicine desperately, to heal an infected wound on his arm that one of the Careers gave him during a battle. Clove chases after him, hurling knives at lightning speed, and pinning him down with the full force of her body.<p>

"_So we meet again, Lover Boy,"_ she sneers, holding a crooked blade up to his throat._ "You're going down. Just like I brought down little Prim. Pathetic, really."_ She spits in his face. _"Just another silly, stupid little girl. She didn't deserve to live."_

He struggles to breathe. _"Give me... last... words."_

She cackles. _"To say goodbye to your little girlfriend? As if."_ She starts to bring her blade down as another rips through the back of her chest, and she falls forward, revealing Rue.

Rue, who looks so much like Prim, but lasted so much longer...

"_Run!"_ she calls to Peeta, turning around to face an angry Cato. Peeta manages to stick Clove's knife in him, but not before the second Prim in his life falls to the ground, run though with the Career's sword.

He gives her the salute, and then backs away.

Katniss storms out and runs into the woods, not caring if anybody sees her. She returns that evening to a dead father, a dead sister, and a dying mother who couldn't bear to take the grief any longer.

But Katniss won't die, not yet. She can't bear to face the thought of it.

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><p>It takes a certain sort of bravery to go and face your death. Peeta Mellark knows this, perhaps better than anyone. The Hunger Games does that to you.<p>

It takes another sort of bravery to live, and that's the kind Peeta has. Thresh kills Foxface and Peeta kills Thresh, and the victor of the 74th Annual Hunger Games is proclaimed.

Katniss watches, and yet, Katniss doesn't see anything at all.

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><p>"<em>Some sacrifices have to be made."<em>

_My sister is not a sacrifice. She is a person. A person.** A person!**_

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><p>Prim visits <em>his <em>dreams, just as she visits _hers_. Prim and Rue, Prim and Rue, and occasionally Aliena Everdeen. But the thing is, they seem happy. Happy in death, if that's possible.

It's a kind of bravery that neither Peeta nor Katniss will ever understand.

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><p>He shows up on her doorstep one day, bearing flowers and overflowing with apologies. She nods and listens, but looks too weary to care.<p>

Peeta goes home to his lonely house in the Victor's Village and paints another picture of Prim.

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><p>She has a dream one night that <em>D e a t h<em>, in the form of President Snow, visits her. She's scared, but Prim and Rue, angels, tell her that it's all right, that he's friendly. Katniss has trouble trusting this, and shoots him with an arrow that has appeared in her hand. Prim and Rue take her to a meadow full of sunshine and peace, and tell her that this is where they live now, that everything is going to be fine.

"_Here your dreams are sweet,_

_And tomorrow brings them true..."_

She wakes up terrified.

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><p>There's a problem with the third Quarter Quell, in that there is no female victor from District Twelve. They hold a regular Reaping for the girls in Twelve, and the name of the unlucky tribute has barely passed the escort's lips when a voice rings out, "I volunteer!"<p>

Peeta Mellark buries his head in his hands.

"_This is my sacrifice... to Prim."_

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><p>But it's not what the Capitol or even Peeta Mellark thinks. She's not sacrificing her will to live; she's sacrificing the peace of death in a world of pain. Katniss Everdeen will keep on fighting, and maybe find something other than survival.<p>

The strengths of the two Everdeen sisters have always come from different places. They should have known that.

Prim was always meant to die, Katniss always to live. It would have happened any other way.

That's the sacrifice that they have to pay. One light extinguished, the other one flaring up.


End file.
